Updates from Freiberg!

May 18, 2010: Well, I’m writing this on May 18^th at least, but I’m not sure when I’ll get internet, so who knows when you’ll be reading this?

I navigated the Frankfurt and Dresden airports alright, even though I accidently misplaced my baggage claim ticket. I guess that’s not the smartest thing to do… But anyway, the car ride from Dresden to Freiberg was “so schön,” or very pretty, and I chatted in German with the lady who drove me. I’m actually very proud of my German skills thus far, although my vocabulary is super limited.

My apartment is so cute! It’s really rather big, with three bedrooms, a spacious living room and dining room, a fun little kitchen, and of course a bathroom. I’m sharing my room with another girl, but she’s neater than I am and really sweet. Actually, all three of my suitemates are very gracious and kind, even though they’re all considerably older than me. And they’re all so talented! It’s such a privilege to be spending so much time with such serious, talented, dedicated artist. Some of them are launching their careers, and it’s enlightening to hear them chat about audition tours, etc.

We all rented little bikes to get around with, and mine is super cute. It’s old-fashioned, light blue, and has a little bell to ring in case someone gets in my way. How fun is that? And when I ride on the cobblestone streets – which actually is the majority of the roads inside of the town – it rattles so satisfyingly. I’m so out of shape that I can’t even make it up some of the hills, but hopefully in a few weeks I’ll be more acclimated.

Speaking of acclimation, the weather is so different here! It’s freezing! We had chilly wind and rain today, and I definitely needed my soprano scarf and big jacket. Our poor program director is scared sick that one of us will catch a cold because we’re not bundled up tightly enough. I do need to buy a pair of gloves, because my hands on the bike do get pretty cold.

May 20, 2010: Well, no steady internet connection yet, so you’ll get two days in a row! J Today was lovely – yesterday was absolutely frigid, and no fun at all. It didn’t rain that much today, just sort of gently misted and lightly shrouded the gorgeous views. And, it was a lot warmer, thank heavens.

I had only two musical rehearsals today. I have a lot less to do than a lot of the older singers who are playing lead roles in Zauberflöte, but my two today were lots of fun. In the morning we went through some of the chorus parts for the finale of Flute, and it was so funny to watch grown ladies play with each other from across the wings just like American high school students. Everything was in German, though, so I didn’t really understand much. Then this afternoon I had 2 hours of coaching on Bastien with the other two people involved, and that was awesome! I love this mini-opera and I’m so close to having it memorized. Let me tell you, memorizing dialogue in another language is no easy business. And the funny thing is if I make a mistake, everyone but me will know!

Oh, and in other funny news, I found out an embarrassing mistake I was singing this whole time! It turns out the word “nacht” (meaning “night”) is very similar in pronunciation to another word (“nakt”) … and that other word means NAKED! Oh my goodness! This whole time I was singing about being naked! Our resident German bass had a good laugh at me.

Transcending Straight Lines

I'm a little embarrassed it's been so long! Many apologies! The past few weeks of have been simply a whirlwind - graduation ceremonies, parties, finals, packing, and so much more. But the whirlwind has picked me up and blown me away... and I have landed again in Charlotte, North Carolina.

And thus begins the Germany adventure! I'm all by my lonesome, and I'm playing at being a grown-up. Or maybe, this time, I really am one.

I'm not sure what I'm feeling right now - trepidation, mostly, because I'm worried I don't know my music well enough. Actually, I could probably find my roll-up piano and practice a little bit in a second. Excitement, too, because it's Germany! And because I love traveling in general - especially when airports are involved. Anxiety, because I have a lot to keep track of and I'm afraid I'll miss something very important. Blessedness, because I know what an incredible chance this is to gallivant about and sing in a faraway land.

My poet-friend Lady Durer set me a beautiful letter yesterday, and in it she said that "straight lines can always be transcended." What an incredible thought. There are a lot of straight lines that dictate how life "should" be. We've all heard the stereotypes, the typical way of doing things. But really, wouldn't life be so much more wonderful if we had the courage to overcome the rules and expectations? Not to simply ignore them, to thoughtlessly rebel, but to transcend. To me, that's what Jesus is all about. He didn't just give rules, and He didn't tell us to disregard all the previous rules... He gives us the ability to transcend rules.

So this summer, I want to walk right through the straight lines that confine. I want to live a free life, a beautiful life, a Jesus-filled life, a responsible life, and a songful life.

Here's to Germany, land of green hills and cold weather! Here's to living a life that is beyond expectations!

Just Like Noah

My adorable friend Megan had a cute idea for a blog post, and I'm copying :) So here's a list of "twos":

Two Books I Want to Read:

- The Tipping Point, by Malcolm Gladwell. Sociology is so fascinating, and I'd love to understand the whys behind some cultural trends.

- Jonathan Edward's "Resolutions." Jonathan Edwards is a pretty well-known American revivalist of the 18th century, and when he was a teenager, he came up with a list of statements he desired to exemplify with his life. So God-centered, inspiring, and challenging.

Two New Favorite Bands:

- Ok, she's not really a band, but Ingrid Michaelson has recently caught my attention. Her lyrics are so thoughtful, and her cool sound is relaxing and fresh.

- Again, not really a band, but the Christian rap artist Lecrae has got some pretty chill stuff. Gotta love when a rap artist starts throwing in words like 'election' and 'steward'

Two Words that Describe Life Right Now:

- Culmination: All my childhood years are rushing up together in this one point. I've had a lot of lasts recently - last time singing on my worship team at church, last time volunteering at Pennington, last piano lesson, etc. It's been a fantastic time growing up, but it's a little weird to leave it behind.

- Preparation: At the same time, I have so much to look forward to in the future, with Germany and ASU and adult life.

Two Things I Should Be Doing:

- Studying

- Cleaning the bathroom

(see why I'm not?)

Two Things I Will Be Doing

- Studying :D

- I'm going to a play tonight at a local Christian high school! Yay!

Two Things That Made Me Smile:

- I bought my stage makeup! Cream foundation and Victorian Rose blush... all für mich!

- I spent the afternoon with my lovely mom and we laughed so hard. I love her.

Two Other Blogs You Should Check Out:

- girltalkhome.com: It's a fun blog for women, with convicting theology too.

- ladydurerscanvas.blogspot.com: My fantastic friend and her poetical musings. She has such a way with words!

A Slap Upside the Head? Yes, please.

Thursday was my coaching with Tregony - which you all heard about. Then Friday came, and it was kind of a rough day. I was so filled with doubts about who I was as a singer, about if I could really achieve all these grand dreams, etc etc. Saturday morning was rough too, especially since my wonderful voice teacher Anne gave me a kind of scolding lecture to ward off potential misconduct. it was weird :P

I told God Friday night that I was trusting Him with my future, and if I wasn't supposed to be doing music, He really oughta let me know!

Saturday evening, I was so stressed out and just "off" trying to get ready to go for the concert, but somehow I pulled myself together in time. And... I don't know... but somehow God was really there for me all night. Waiting in the wings to go on, I practiced my enjoying the moment philosophy, and just invited God to come be my audience.

And it was such a good performance! Probably the best I've ever sung the piece. Marc Denton, who is head of the vocal department at cc#1, said some very complimentary things about what I did, and it was so encouraging.

You know, I may not be the next Broadway diva right now - I still have a lot of vocal problems and acting difficulties I need to work through. But I'm not terrible either. I think... I think I just need to cut out the melodrama, trust God that I'm in the right place for the moment, and keep plugging ahead.

So the next time I regale you with a tale of woe, slap me upside the head and tell me to go practice or something.

Brick Walls

Sorry for the long absence - life got crazy :) But I'm ba-ack!

Today I had the most incredible coaching session with Tregony Shepherd this afternoon. Like, wow. She toured with Les Mis and Phantom, and did Les Mis on Broadway too. Her whole body radiates theater - she moves, speaks, and communicates like a real actress. Which she is, so go figure. I felt her pixie dust flying around the room as she worked.

I was in tears a couple times this afternoon as she transformed the other singers' pieces. We have some great voices at cc#1, but she took a pretty voice and a nice song into either a heart-wrenching drama or a cute, hilarious comedy, depending on the situation.

Honestly, I was so disappointed in how I sang. I feel like my technical abilities/dramatic skills are so much greater when I'm not performing or nervous. Go figure, right? But my future career is supposed to be performing, so it's so frustrating when performing is difficult and not satisfying.

I feel like I have all these emotions and motivations and ideas bouncing in my head that I want to communicate, but there's this brick wall between me and my audience. I can feel the moment in the song when I hit the wall and I just bang against it for the rest of the piece - it's a terrible feeling.

Tregony did help me communicate better, but I still feel frustrated. I don't know what to do except keep practicing, but I'm looking forward to when I'll be able to sing and touch my audience and bring them to tears. Soon, I hope.

Ich spreche nur ein bisschen Deutsch...

Open wide - breath in - inhale German.

That's pretty much my life right now: between lieder, my Bastien music, and prepping for my German final/oral final, I feel like I'm living German! Which is probably good - and actually, I should probably find ways to immerse myself even more in the language before I'm dumped in the country and left to fend for myself. I'm doing really well understanding conversations in German, but my vocabulary is so limited that I have a hard time coming up with my own phrases.

I don't know if you can tell from the picture I posted a couple weeks ago, but my hair is ridiculously, abnormally long, and I really need a cut. I'm trying to decide if I want to get highlights (yes, but is really a smart thing to do?), who I want to get my cut from, how much I want to spend, etc etc... I've been polling all my friends for advice, and they're pretty evenly split. I have to get it worked out in the next week or so before things get really tight before I leave :)

Music-wise, I'm currently prepping a Debussy Arabesque and a Rach prelude for my last piano recital, a musical theater piece for a fun workshop/coaching/recital extravangza at CC#1 next week, three pieces for juries at CC#1, three or four lieder for Germany, my Bastien music, "party" songs to bring to Germany, and... *inhale*. Actually I think that's it. I'm crunching right now as far as solidifying the technical elements of all of them, and am about half way memorized. What's kind of aggravating is that my teachers are all pushing me to focus on expression, on what message I want to communicate through my singing/playing. I just want to scream that I have NOTHING to say anymore at this point! I'm just focusing on surviving! I have no deep metaphysical thoughts that are dying to be expressed through music. I guess this is when I manufacture such interesting thinks?

Oh, and then I watched myself in a mirror today while emoting my "Light in the Piazza" song, and I kind of scared myself.... I have huge eyes and very jumpy, very thick eyebrows, and with all the contortions I worked my face into, it was a little creepy. Maybe I should tone down the facial expressions...

On Stars and Dreams

I had a lazy weekend this weekend. I had a lazy weekend last weekend too. I just don't want to work anymore, I don't want to practice, I don't want to prep for Germany... I just want to sleep, or read, or goof off online.

That's bad, huh? :)

I think part of it is because I'm realizing how far away I am from the stars I so fondly call my own. Just like everybody, I have my fair share of big fat dreams that I hope to someday see in reality. But right now, they seem miles and miles away... and I'm despairing of ever getting there.

I'm pretty sure most of it is good old senioritis, and that come next week, I'll be feeling more like my peppy, hardworking self again. Until then... I guess I'll just make sure I pick good books to read?