I love weddings.

I love the pretty dresses (and funky shoes), and beautiful music - I love the older generations blessing the new marriage. I love celebrating love and commitment. I love the awkward moments and how everyone is so quick to laugh, and so quick to cry.

So yeah, I went to a wedding on Friday night and it was awesome. I hear wedding bells ringing in the next year or so for some of my closest friends, and I'm really excited. Eeee!

I'm not so thrilled about my music theory test that I took Friday morning. It was *so* hard. Really, teacher, 3 enharmonic modulations for a total of 4 key centers all in a one page excerpt?

Other than that, school is going really well. I'm super excited for next semester, because I have almost all of my afternoons free. Super cool.

So yup, life is good, God is good, music is good. Peace out!


Sunshine in My Soul!

Jude 24-25:

Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy, to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen.

I'm writing a paper right now on death and how that affects human relationship, specifically within a worldview that doesn't really believe in a meaningful existence after death. So, I've been thinking... and it makes me so happy that Jesus is a God of eternity - lots of things in this life we have only for fleeting, precious moments, but then they are gone for good. Isn't it wonderful that the one Person who will bring ultimate joy and deepest fulfillment is a forever kind of God? I'm thrilled to able to abandon myself to His love without ever having to doubt that it will grow cool or that He will ever forsake me.

And that knowledge is the best kind of illumination for my heart of hearts!


Sound Bite

From a dancer in the tour of Beauty and the Beast that is currently playing at Gammage, and who so kindly came and gave an artist talk to us LOT folks:

"In order to be a public success, you must first be a public failure."

That gives me so much courage as I slog through my intro to dance class, and as I try to come up with a decent sounding belt/mix. It's ok to make mistakes and humiliate myself - that's kind of what school is for! And... I totally did embarrass myself today in dance class... when the teacher stops counting the combo to laugh at you, you know you're looking pretty crazy. :D



I love not doing homework during lunch because I'm chatting with friends.

I love the feeling of a great big world just waiting to unfold in front of me.

I love listening to CDs my friends burn for me.

I love singing really, really high.

I love dancing to the music in my head.

I love *finally* being happy again! :D


About Confession

I love being a Christian. Theological reasons aside, I so enjoy the Christian life - worship music, getting dressed up on Sundays, fellowship within the body, our beautiful traditions, corporate prayer, and mutual confession.

As an Evangelical, I don't participate in formal confessions as in the Catholic churches, but an integral part of every Christian's life is the discipline of confessing our sins to one another. Last night at small group, we broke into guys and gals and confessed to each other some besetting sins that we consistently struggle with, and then as a group, talked about how the truth of the gospel informed each of those situations.

It can be so hard to share, because we all know that the rest of the group is made up of people with problems - it's hard to face potential judgement or criticism or holier-than-thou attitudes. But when God is moving, the encouragement is so, so worth it. Praying for each other, and helping each other through the difficulties - it so helps me to walk in victory and to celebrate the power of God over Satan.

So yeah, being a Christian is pretty dog-gone awesome. :D


Wrapping My Troubles in Dreams

I keep losing my Anne-ness, these days. I get lost in a cloud of discontentment, wishing for a million different things I don't have. I want to live on campus, for instance. And I wish I had more friends here at school. I'm upset I don't have a good belt or a good mix. I don't like the weight I'm at right now... the list goes on and on.

I feel so embarrassed writing all those silly things down, and even more embarrassed to tell you that those silly worries have consumed me for the past couple of weeks. My eyes have been turned so inward that I've missed the beautiful things going on around me.

I've missed things like intentionally enjoying my beautiful family. I've neglected building up the incredible friendships I do have at church and other places. I've forgotten to thank God for the fact that I can sing at all!

I'm struggling with life as an adult... I know I'm being melodramatic, and that I'm probably still more child than adult, but I can't wrap my head around the notion that my childhood is slipping past me forever, and that I can't change any of what's already happened. I feel so locked in to the next 4 years here in my town, at ASU. When I tell my grandchildren stories about my college years, it's all going to have happened right here where I'm walking every day.

It's strange to have dreamed about something, whether that be adulthood, or being a college kid, or whatever, for so long, and then all of a sudden - it has come true! I'm really here. And sometimes I wish I was back in my dreamworld, where the imagined situations could change with my every whim.

It's kind of funny, but I never like to make a post like this until I've already decided on a course of action. I hate indecision!

So here's my plan:

1. Dig deep into God, into the joys of the gospel. I need some eternal perspective on my life! God's story, spanning thousands of years and millions of hearts, is full of joy and victory and deeper meaning. This is definitely something I want to live in, to drown in.

2. Keep dreaming! I'm not going to fantasize about how happy I would be, if only this or that happened, but I'm going to choose to walk through life with a dreamy glow around the edges. The ordinary stairs I claim every morning to the practice rooms on the 5th floor turn into graceful steps ascending into the heavens, bringing me closer to the beauty and creativity I know are waiting for me inside those little cubicles. See? It's all better already.

I'll keep you updated! :)


Today's a Special Day!

it's 10-10-10.

That makes me super happy.


What a Wonderful Day!

Even my 7:30 class was fantastic this morning, because we were talking about personality types and that's just so fascinating! I'm an ENFJ, and it turns out all the girls I sit around at choir are ENFJs too - no wonder we all get along. So yeah, lots of fun discussion in that class, bright and early as it was.

Theory class was difficult, as we tried to analyze secondary German, French, and Italian Augmented Sixth chords in inversion in *real music.* My brain still hurts from that part. I love theory because it's so interesting and intellectual, but it's really, really difficult.

And then, raptures of raptures!! I had a voice lesson with Sarah Jane McMahon! She's in town to sing Mabel with the Arizona Opera, and she's just fabulous. I love her voice to death, and she's so sweet, kind, and humble, despite her flowering career that brings her into contact with the greats like Placido Domingo. The lesson was so informative, and I feel like I sang really well.

Unfortunately, my iPod seems to have turned itself off halfway through the lesson, so I'm not sure if I got a recording of it. That would quite literally be a tragedy, so I'm putting off plugging the iPod in to my computer to see if I can coax it to give me something good. I hope I managed to record at least part of it.

Then we had this Finnish composer Jaakko Mäntyjärvi come hear our choir sing at school, and then he gave us a little talk afterwards with some Q and A time. How fascinating! We're singing some of his works next semester, and I'm really thrilled.

So combine all that with a great movement class and time with my best friend.... and yeah, that makes for a pretty fantastic day.

God is so good! I mean, He would be good regardless of my bad days or good days, but I really like that He's choosing to show me His goodness by pouring out all these blessings on me. It's definitely a very fun way to learn about His abundant grace and mercy.


When I'm Heartsore

Do bouts of heartsickness come with this age? The tangy, dreamy kind of ache that settles deep inside; the restless kind of longing that yearns for something - something more, something greater.

The only way I know how to deal with is it to run to my upright and sing old jazz songs.

I think it's part of being young, and in love with life but not with anyone in particular. I'm so glad to be alive, maybe especially because being alive means feeling things so deeply.

And isn't it romantic? Merely to be young on such a night as this?


Hello, October!

Usually I don't pay much attention to the month of October. I mean, September has my birthday and the beginning of school, and November heralds in the holiday season and cooler weather. October has to be endured... one more month of 100 degree heat before the welcome winter comes.

But this year... I don't know. I mean to make much of my October. You see, I want to start living more intentionally. Be bold in my friendships, but in a Christ-centered boldness, not out of a desperate need for human affirmation. I want to take risks in my performing - to sing and act and dance and never be afraid. So this October, as I have my first ASU choir concerts, begin rehearsals for Secret Garden, and settle into small groups at school and church, my aim is to offer each moment to God's service.

I'm excited to see what this month holds!